The Twenty Something Girl’s Guide to Living Life; Spicing Up Your Relationship

jeff and i beach

Hey ladies!

I know its been awhile since I’ve done a twenty something girl’s guide to living life post but I’ve been busy living life (LOL) so now I can come back and tell you about it!  Since my last Guide post a lot has happened.  I turned 25 and I got engaged all in the same day but if you want to read more about that then click here!

Today’s post is about spicing up your relationship when you feel the spark dulling.  You guys are probably like wait Danielle, you just got engaged.  I know I know and I’m completely in love with Jeff so chill!  I think it’s perfectly natural for a relationship to be somewhat different almost 3 years in (especially when you live together) than what it was almost 3 months in.  The butterflies you get before spending a weekend away together turns into what are we doing for dinner, or an I don’t care what movie you pick conversation.  When you really love someone it’s almost impossible to not get “comfortable” if you know what I mean but even when engaged or even married I think it’s very important to always still be “dating” each other.

Here are 5 ways I think you can spice up your relationship!

Spend Time Apart

You guys are probably like what the hell! How is that going to spice thing up, ok ladies listen, I am a self proclaimed clingy person ( I hate to admit, it even makes me kind of uncomfortable) but I can’ enough of Jeff and Jeff is honestly just not that person.  I think when you have become comfortable in your relationship it’s good to take time apart from each other so when you see each other you have something to look forward to! I’m not saying go on a 2 week hiatus I’m just saying maybe on Saturday morning go for brunch with your girlfriends then shopping and maybe lunch while he watches the game and drinks beers with his guys, when you guys get home at night it’ll be great to see each other!

Unplug from Your Electronics

Jeff will be the first person to say I’m always scrolling through Instagram but doesn’t recognize even though it’s not Instagram on his screen he’s in his phone 40% of the time as well.  Makes spending time together kind of empty.  Let’s be real if I’m asking you about work and you’re telling me how your day went while occasionally looking up from your phone let’s just talk when you’re done!  It’s not just Jeff, I’m very guilty of it as well. Couples, make it a habit of spending time together and unplugging! Going out to eat? Try to put your phone down and not pick it up, trust me it makes the night much more enjoyable!

Do What Your Partner Likes to Do

Compromise is major and in my relationship Jeff compromises more than I do, I’m aware of this.  He watches the trash reality TV I like, he spends weekends photographing my outfits for me and all he ever wants to do is watch Football ( I hate it) and go to the movies ( I hate that too) To keep things spicy in your relationship I believe you have to show interest in your partner’s likes.  What does this mean for me? Don’t just sit there while Jeff is watching football, try to engage in it as well- that doesn’t mean ask a bunch of questions ( even if you really don’t know what’s going on) that’s probably just annoying but be present when doing things your significant other enjoys.

Let’s be Honest ; Have Sex or At Least Be Intimate 

When we think of our senses touch is a big one! When the spark is dulling intimacy is a big way to brighten it back up.  Thinking of small ways to touch your partner throughout the day is a major key to spicing things up.  I’m really big on affection – that is definitely one of my love languages as Vicki Gunvalson would say.  Sneaking a kiss when in the mall or cuddling in bed while having a conversations, laying on the couch together watching tv, those are ways to be romantically intimate without actually having sex.  You’ll radiate love and feel it reciprocated as well.

Lastly, Surprise Your Partner

Little surprises are major in relationships!  This past week Jeff popped up to my job on his lunch break with a dozen Roses, things like that make me feel great, loved and thought about. It’s not always about buying things its the act of doing something you know your partner loves, Make the bed before you leave, get tickets to a game or grab a 6 pack of his favorite beer Friday night before he gets home.  Knowing you were thought about in even the simplest way is really sexy and brings a smile.

Let me know what you do in your relationship to keep your spark bright


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HEY LOVES – I’M DANIELLE or DANIE – THE LIFE LOVING GIRL BEHIND XOXODANIELLEMONE! I’m currently 28 years old and I live in Orlando, FL with my husband Jeff + our fur baby Bleu (like the cheese), a Blue Nose Pitbull who you can follow on Instagram at @greeneyedbleu. I share our life together and my style here on XOXODanielleMone and on Instagram. I definitely love the colors pink, orange and yellow and all things style but I also love: a great cocktail, home decor, fresh flowers, and spending time with my family (hey mom!).

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