Jeff and I have officially been married for 2 years, well we made 2 years on June 9th and I’ve learned quite a few thing about no only myself but marriage as a whole in our first 2 years! I wanted to have an open and honest discussion about my thoughts with you all and I’d love to hear what you think as well!
People Will Always Say “Marriage is Hard, but It’s Worth It”
Well that’s only half true. Marriage is most definitely worth it (if it’s what you want) but it certainly is not hard. A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with my dad about this saying and what he said really resonated with me and made me look back at my marriage thus far with Jeff. He said marriage isn’t hard work at all it’s actually easy; you just have to be open in your communication and be a good listener. He was extremely right, my marriage with Jeff hasn’t been hard but in all moments that I’ve been even the slightest bit irritated it’s because Jeff and I haven’t effectively communicated to each other the way we need to be communicated with.
You Will Not Be the Same Person You Were When You Got Married Forever
When Jeff and I met, I was 22 and he was 32 – for the most part he had already grown into who he was going to be however I was just getting started. Who I was at 22 when we met is not who I was a 25 when he proposed or even who I was at 26 when we got married and that’s okay. Now I didn’t change drastically but I grew up. Example, at 22 I knew I wanted kids but wasn’t pressed about a time frame while now at almost 29 I would love a child within the year, I was a bit careless (money, freedom, etc) when we met; Jeff and I met working in clubs and now I like things stable – day time jobs, work life balance, benefits! You will change and that’s perfectly fine as long as you change for the better and or partner grows with you.
Having Married Friends is Extremely Important
I can’t stress this one enough but Jeff and I love hanging out with other couples. Some of our great times have been with my older brothers Darryl and Carey and they’re wives (who are more like sisters than sister in laws), my friend Ghislaine and her Husband Peter and even my parents! There’s something that comes from being surrounded by peers who are in your same “situation” if you will, there’s something different about receiving experiences and advice from people who are where you are or have been where you are.
Date Night and Intimacy is Important
When you see someone everyday (especially considering this last year) it’s important to ensure you keep the spark going. Sometimes after cooking dinner and sitting at our table together for 6 days in a row you need to go out to that great restaurant in an outfit you’ve been dying to wear and dare I say when you’ve been sleeping in that oversized t shirt for a few days walk into the bedroom in that black lace teddy. Sometimes scheduling something doesn’t seem as sexy but maybe schedule a weekly date night – something that you know is coming up and can look forward to and well intimacy – let’s just say it like it is, sex is important in a relationship; especially a marriage!
Danielle Mone Knight 