As a Twenty Something Girl I’m still trying to find my way in certain areas of life. Between working and trying to build my brand and career, planning a wedding and being a good and attentive fiancé, trying to have fun and live life and trying to keep all relationships afloat sometimes I feel like I’m slightly drowning.
Hitting 26 in less than 2 weeks I feel like as a mid twenty something girl I’m learning that everything doesn’t have to be perfect I am not Carrie Bradshaw and my life is not Sex and the City (although anyone who watched the series knows her life was far from seemingly perfect) but as an up and coming blogger who’s pretty much on social media majority of the day (Jeff thinks it’s annoying and slightly pathetic) I can sometimes get lost in the glitz and glam of the very perfectly planned Instagram aesthetic that I have to continuously remind myself is NOT real life!
When scrolling through your Instagram feed and seeing perfectly polished nails, couples who are so in love, bodies that are worked out and toned, big city outfit shots and apartments that are #homedecorgoals it is so easy to get lost in the idea of trying to make everything perfect but you have to let go of that thought and focus on you.
If you’re in the same boat as me then keep reading to see what life lessons I’m discovering and what I’m learning to let go of!
The Fear of Missing Out
Listen, we all know what FOMO is and we’ve all experienced it but believe me when I say it’s okay to leave early or not go at all! One thing I’ve learned through a friend at work with almost a decade of life experience more than me is that you never want to be the last of the group to leave happy hour! It’s just not a good look! (especially when its a coed crowd) Anything you think you’ll miss you’ll hear a story about sooner or later! In the first few years of my twenties I was on a dance floor with a drink in hand 5 to 6 of 7 nights a week all while being a full time student. Now I graduated with a 3.6 GPA but what the hell was I thinking! It’s okay to sit some nights out.
Let’s be completely honest here, in life there will be few life changing events that you’ll be invited to or will attend. The office will always go out for another happy hour, the girls will always want sushi and there will always be another dinner party at friends or a trendy new restaurant. I’m not saying become a house bunny, you don’t want to become the person who’s always in PJs watching Netflix but it’s much more important to spend your time doing impactful things and being with people you find feed your soul!
Being Stuck on What If
No matter what decision you make in life you’ll probably always end up asking yourself at some point what if. What if I did take that job in that city, what if I went to a different university. One thing I’ve learned to let go is the constant wondering about the decisions I’ve made and how my life would be different if I’d made different ones. Listen, let it go and don’t waste your time thinking about it! You’ve made your decision and you can’t un-make it.
About 3 years ago the day before my birthday I drove to Atlanta from Orlando with my dad, had a job interview in the heart of Downtown and looked at apartments in preparation for the possibility of moving. Jeff and I had a conversation that we would make it work and do what we could. I didn’t get the job and to be honest I knew deep down that I didn’t want it but more importantly I didn’t want to have to try the long distance thing with Jeff. Here we are 3 years later engaged and planning our wedding. Sometimes my mind filters off into thoughts of what if I did get the job and moved, what would’ve happened to our relationship? But why? Why does the thought even matter because I didn’t get the job, I didn’t move and were engaged.
Daydreaming about life decision is completely normal and I’m not saying it’s not but just be realistic. Don’t waste your time living a what if life. Think about your decision, weigh the pros and cons and just jump in feet first (is that who the analogy goes) and be comfortable with the decision you made!
The day I moved into my freshman college dorm was my 18th birthday and everyone told me the friend you make in college are the friends you keep for life. Well I graduated 4 years ago and I’m here to tell you that’s not exactly true. The friends you make in your twenties are more so the friends you’ll have for life.
Let me explain a little better; who you are at 18 and even 21 is not the same person you are at 25 or 27. Your priorities will completely shift! At 21 all I wanted to do was party, have fun and of course get passing grades in my classes but now at 25/26 I’m thinking about my future, I’m thinking about purchasing a home and making adult life decisions. You’re early twenties is definitely a time to be adventurous and discover who you are, what you like and what you don’t like and you’ll attract like minded people in every phase of life. Once you hit your mid twenties life should be about working on your goals and building lifelong relationships.
One thing you have to do is accept that not everyone who you’ve built a friendship with is a lifelong friend. The saying that some people come into your life for a season is so true and you can’t get caught up and the reason things have shifted. As life changes so do your friendships and the roles people play in your life. As life goes on and priorities changes it’s important to know that as you grow and change so will your relationships and that’s completely okay! I’m learning not to dwell on friendships that seem to be shifting. This is life, take people for who they are, take relationships for what they are, appreciate what you’ve learn and let go of the rest!
Creating and Living on a Timeline
When I was 16 if you asked me how life was going to pan out I would’ve told you I’ll be married at 26, I’d have my first child the very next year and my second as soon as I was able to. I’d be in my dream job by 27 and in a house by 28. I’m going to be so real with you getting married at 26 is a fluke (lucky for me it just happened that way, no planning) and don’t plan when you’re going to get married, I have friends that got married at 23 and friends that are 40 and still single, don’t rush into wanting to get married because you’ll end up settling whether you realize it or not. As far as having a baby, it would be nice but I’m not rushing that either; I find myself annoyed after being around children for too many hours and although I’ve been told your patience shifts when the child is your own the thought of having to adjust my lifestyle to accommodate a very dependent little person is not in anyway appealing to my right now!( now marrying a man who is 10 years older than me) I also realize that the reality of him wanting children sooner rather than later is very real but ladies don’t do something as major as having a child for a man! And don’t marry a man who will pressure you into getting pregnant! Once I get married next year there’s no telling where my mommy meter will be, I definitely want children and I’d like them before 30 but I’m not planning it out month by month, trust me! When the time is right it’ll happen!
Giving yourself a timeline to live by can result in major let down. It’s great to have goals and to work hard at them but a wise man once said Rome wasn’t built in a day. Good things take time and your happiness has no deadline. Live your life and take time enjoying it and allowing happiness and success to manifest.
Now that you know which 4 things I’m learning to let go of now drop a comment and tell me what you’re learning to let go of!